The first time I had sex with my high school boyfriend, I had just told him I didn't want to have sex yet. One second we were messing around like we had before, and the next second he was inside of me. At first, I was really confused. I had only had sex with one boy at that point in time, and I didn't quite understand until a few seconds in what had happened. It didn't feel right.. But, ultimately, I decided it was okay.
Read MoreThe first time I slept with another woman wasn't a special experience. It was an impulse but ultimately meaningless. It took me a long time to find someone to have a special experience with. When I found her, it was all perfect. She did everything right. We took things slow. We actually talked about having sex and our comfort surrounding it long before it ever happened. She created this incredibly safe environment for me. It was beautiful and I'm so grateful to have had such a positive experience. Our consent was the most important thing. She wasn't my first, but I wish she was.
I know that someone who has had too much to drink can't consent to sexual activity. They're not able to consent. But I've always wondered how we define being too drunk to consent. It's not a black and white issue. If I'm blacked out, that's not okay. But if I'm too drunk to walk in a straight line, am I able to consent? Or is my consent even valid? I've had quite a few hookups that occurred when both of us were drunk. When I'm drunk, I don't usually make the effort to have a conversation about consent. The people I've hooked up with don't either. But, as I read these stories, I'm stressing out about my drunk conduct. I know my drunk hookups were consensual because we always talked about it the next morning and made sure both of us were okay with what happened. But, what if in the future it's less clear? This has made me realize that I need to be very cautious in my hookup future. I don't want to wake up feeling taken advantage of or having a sexual partner who feels that way.
I’m still unsure of how I lost my virginity. It was with my first boyfriend and we had fooled around for a few months before taking the leap and having, to us, full on sex. Those first couple of months were a whirlwind for me. We started out pretty hot and heavy, within minutes of my first kiss with him he had me in his lap making out. Days later his pant were unzipped in the back of his car and him telling me to put my mouth there. I had never done anything like that before I had no idea what I was doing and as he held my head down and I struggled to breathe I thought, “I guess this is what having a boyfriend is like”.
Read MoreIn high school, I had a new boyfriend every few months and was rarely single. So, when I got to college, I figured it would be the same. But, no guy was interested in anything other than a casual hookup and hanging out in his dorm. I was honestly kind of scared to be alone with a guy in his room. This fear didn't come from being a virgin because I had already had sex before. I guess I was just nervous about going too far with someone I didn't know well. I decided not to sleep with any guys for the first few months because I figured that I'd eventually feel comfortable enough with the casual dating style of college.
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