The trifecta of everything that went wrong

I was a senior in high school. I had previously briefly dated a guy my junior year. I thought he cared like I did (he took me to his senior prom) and his family really liked me. Turns out that he was just a player and he decided to stop talking to me and hung out with another girl at a show we were at. Completely ignored me and I was devastated. 

Flash forward to senior year and I had just been broken up with by someone I really cared about, who I thought I loved. this guy cheated on me with a younger girl at his house which was 3 down from mine. Again, devastated. So I started hanging out with guy number 1 again. Nothing serious but I was too uptight around him to trust that he was being sincere. I knew his reputation and it had only gotten worse the longer I knew him. 

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Betrayed

I moved to a new state and I met a guy on Tinder. He was quirky and silly and incredibly intelligent. We started talking and decided to meet for coffee. It wasn’t long before we spent most of our time together- hiking, drinking, reading volumes of poetry and philosophy, making our own artwork and staying up into the middle of the night playing scrabble. He was kind and funny and we had an incredible amount in common. Too much… 

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The Night America Told Me that Sexual Assault is Okay

Last night, Donald Trump was elected president. I, like many Americans, couldn't believe it. My Facebook page was drowning in legitimate criticism about his policies, racism, sexism, ableism, etc. People were outraged at the people who voted for third party candidates and the people who wrote in Harambe. 

My anger, however, is reserved for the 53% of white women who voted for this man. A man who brags about committing sexual assault and is on trial for raping a 13-year-old girl.

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A Bad Feeling in my Stomach

The first time I had sex with my high school boyfriend, I had just told him I didn't want to have sex yet. One second we were messing around like we had before, and the next second he was inside of me. At first, I was really confused. I had only had sex with one boy at that point in time, and I didn't quite understand until a few seconds in what had happened. It didn't feel right.. But, ultimately, I decided it was okay. 

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The Master Manipulator

I knew he moved fast as soon as we matched. Within an hour of messaging on Tinder, he asked for my number. Within 24, we had a date planned.

I was nervous, to say the least. Before this, I had been on one date with a guy. Everything else was just casual hookups with female friends. I had my heartbroken earlier that year, though, and I was determined not to be a victim to that heartbreak. So, I put myself out there.
 

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