Hello to the Readers of The Story of Consent!

First of all, I'd like to thank you all for taking the time to look at this site and for participating in this conversation, either by submitting your thoughts or by listening to another's story. Ali and I weren't sure if this project would be successful. Personally, I knew this project was something I needed and just hoped that there was someone out there who needed it too. 

Earlier this week, I regretted that we chose to launch the site right before the election. I only felt this way because my friends on social media were using any post, political or not, as a platform to get into a heated debate.  I try my best to avoid political statements on Facebook. I have no illusions that I will change anyone's opinion via a status update or snarky comment.

It was my hope that promoting this site would give everyone a break from the constant arguing online. A few loved ones of mine visited the site and, unfortunately, decided to confront me about the content simply because one of the submissions did not line up with their political opinions. My character was attacked because they thought I wrote this particular submission. To clarify, I did not.

I really thought the feedback I'd get from these individuals would be empowering and full of love. I thought they'd at least be proud of me for creating this space. Instead, they confronted me, harassed me, and publicly bullied me. If I were a stronger person, I would have fought back when I was being verbally attacked. However, I'm not a stronger person. 

For those of you who don't know me personally, I've been going through a bit of a rough patch. Two years ago, I fell apart. I knew that depression and anxiety were very real mental health issues. I just didn't know they had been existing inside of me my whole life, waiting for the right time to make themselves known. They knocked me down so hard that it has taken every moment of these last two years to stand back up again.

This website has been a big part of that. It's given me something to get out of bed for in the morning. It's given me positive feedback from old friends, thanking us for creating this safe space. It's given me the opportunity to read powerful and brave submissions that reminds me just how important it is to tell our stories.

But, for a brief moment, those verbal attacks from loved ones took all of those positive feelings away from me. I remember calling my mom while sobbing last week and asking how these people who allegedly cared for me could disrespect me and the work I've put into this project.

It wasn't just that they attacked me. They attacked the stories on this site. They didn't take the time to understand the purpose of the site. They didn't care that this was supposed to be a safe space. They used it as a platform for their aggression. And while I have made amazing strides toward getting myself back together, their words pulled me back into that dark place I've been struggling to escape from. 

I know I'm not the only one who has been struggling since Tuesday. If you're having a hard time right now, I'm here for you. The Story of Consent is also here for you. This election has been emotional and personal. A lot of the rhetoric used in the news and on social media has been hostile and, at times, triggering.

If you must engage, be careful. Don't be the one to push someone you care about too far. It's not worth it. It's not worth the snappy comebacks or the retweets. Endangering someone's emotional stability and personal safety isn't worth whatever it is that you get from engaging in these online debates.

Above all else, listen first. If this site can teach you anything, let it be that listening to someone else's story is the first step toward opening a real conversation. 

If you're going through a hard time like me, take care of yourself. Self-care is different for everyone. For me, it's talking to old friends, re-watching Galavant, talking to my mom daily, listening to the Vitamin String Quartet's covers of My Chemical Romance songs, and reading three YA books in 24 hours. Things will get better. For you, it's probably something different. 

Things will get better. For the time being, surround yourself with things and people that make you happy, passionate, and empowered. 

Finally, I want to thank you all for the submissions we have received. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your feelings and experiences. I spent last Sunday morning rereading all of these submissions. These stories were what I needed to remind me that I'm not alone in this world. And while I am having a rough time, these stories have become my inspiration to get better. You and your stories have inspired me. You reminded me that I have to fight for me.

Love,

Alex