Hello Everyone!
On one of the first day of classes this semester one of my professors said that she is trying to be the role model she never had, and after having the privilege of learning from her she is definitely who I want to be when I grow up. But her statement about being a role model definitely stuck with me, and when Alex and I were starting this project we both knew we wanted to be there for people who need help, even if it's as simple as a "me too".
Starting this project has been a huge roller coaster ride, and not the new fancy steel roller coasters where you feel like you're flying, but the ancient wooden ones with the loose lap seat belts, and the rickety beams, and you're not sure if you're going to fall to your death. When I first started thinking about projects I knew I wanted to do something surrounding sexual assault. If you've ever had a conversation with me, you've probably learned that my main area of research is on domestic violence, that's something I'm definitely very open about, but I knew that my senior year I finally was ready to move onto something that to me, was more gritty and something that needed to be opened up. So consider this my official coming forward post. For a year I was in an extremely abusive relationship, it took six months after the relationship for me to fully comprehend that it was in fact abusive, and almost two years to come to terms that I was a part of the 1 in 5 women who would be sexually assaulted before they left college.
Normally in my research I am able to distance myself and I can hide behind definitions and facts. My papers are never in the first person and I'm able to confront my situation with logic, and rationale because I'm not telling my story, I'm simply translating my story into a dry piece of academic literature. But this project really made me confront what had happened to me head on. I had never talked about my sexual assaults with anyone until about a year ago and honestly writing this post is so completely terrifying for me that I had to text Alex and ask her about her opinion if I should even "come out" or not. But here I am.
After debating back and forth if I wanted people know about my story has really made me realize why I wanted to create this site in the first place. I wanted to give people a chance to tell their story and share what had happened to them without feeling like they're about to go down that first huge drop on the ride. To let them know that there are others out there who understand what they're going through and that they've been there too.
I'm so glad that you're here and I'm honored to be able to be that space for you to feel like you can share your story without the fear of being judged or harassed, and I want you all to know that I am here for each and every one of you.
Love,
Ali